today i bought a one-week subway pass.

a full pass. something i never do because I usually think "but 2 days of it will go to waste."

i read my book on the train tonight--crying all the way uptown--hoping everyone would think "oh, that must be a sad sad book."

i want to post my montreal pics--so that the few who read this blog will think "things must be back to normal."

i want to be okay. i want to jump. but it's not going to be today.