i'm not gonna talk about therapy here.

can you imagine? reading this blog and hearing about my psychoanalysis everyday? ugh. no way. but since it was day one, it's fitting to say something about it. so i'll just say--i'm going back next week. and i think that's a positive sign. i'm ready to go through this...i wasn't for a long time, i put it off for many years, but now i'm really really ready to get on with having a wonderful, full life :-)

When i was a child, i'd dig through the jellybeans, picking out the black ones and tossing them out. well, that's what doc is gonna help me do...toss out all those black jellybeans. and fix me. i want her to fix me, or help me fix myself. sounds ideal and unreasonable, and maybe impossible...but that's what i want. fixed does not mean perfect, fixed means you take something old, and broken, and you put a little glue, a little polish, some soap and water--and you make it stronger, cleaner, you make it last longer, you make it better. that's what i want.