Thursday, April 10, 2008

the super-adult women. and me.

Today, it occurred to me (and not for the first time in the past year), that I am lagging behind. I've missed the proverbial boat. Depending on how you look at it--I'm either refusing to grow up, or every woman around me is insisting on being "super-adult."

So, I'm sitting there at lunch with women old enough to be maybe my slightly older sisters, and they start chatting away about their recipes, kayaking, grilling with their husbands, and it dawns on me--I feel light years behind these women in dosmestic, culinary, and well, kayaking aptitude. I truly couldn't hang--not with the conversation, and not with the talk about the versatility of Omaha Steaks. So I quickly gobbled my eggplant parmesan, excused myself, and went to my room....well, my office.

But for a moment, before I escaped from the table, I wondered why I'd been so bored with these women--and why I had not yet embraced all the wonderful grown-up things that these women found so fascinating and essential to their womanhood. Yet, I shutter at the thought that I'm somehow less of a woman because I don't care much about the best way to keep a house clean and a husband happy....but maybe...hmmm...i dunno.

All around me, women are growing up. My friends are having babies and getting married, and of course, I'm doing neither. It's not even penciled in my 2008/2009 calendar. I could say my moving to a "new" city is my own little way of growing up, but most of these adult women would think "When is she gonna just settle down and be comfortable?" I've already gotten the "Wow, you move a lot!" from a couple of my co-workers. (These uber-adult women are quite vocal.) I wonder why they're concerned...yet I admit to myself that moving isn't so much grown up as it is uncertain...unsure...unsettled...and still figuring life out. And well, yes, I'm all those things. I'm not saying I don't want the opposite, but I can't help that my pace is different. I got a late start, and then lost my map, and had a couple setbacks, and then figured out, that I was enjoying the journey anyway, so why rush it.

The only thing, I guess I can do, from this point on, is to find a new lunch table. I mean, I'd rather lag, than sit tight-lipped at the adult-woman table hiding my real self.

p.s. Today, I really missed my cool DC girlfriends--and how we indulge unapologetically in hours of crap-talking over coffees on the best hair juices and berries, that thing so-in-so did that made you laugh your ass off, who has the best happy hour drinks in town, and why on earth super-adult boys are so damned nuts.


redhotmama said...

oh em gee. i feel like i could've written this, too.

etoilee8 said...

Seriously. Do. Not. Sweat. It. I have to keep telling myself that every day. I feel like in this race of life, every other girl I know of has lapped me in some way or another and I'm still tying my shoes. Boyfriends? Lacking. Proposals? None. Full time jobs? Ha. Feelings of security (or wanting to settle down)? Absolutely zero. Times of great fun and much laughter? More than I can count on all my fingers and toes.

etoilee8 said...

Another thing. . . as these wedding invites come pouring in left and right, I can't help but to think to myself "gawd, you're all so boring". I know it sounds snotty but it's just so predictable. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, it's just not right for me, right now. People getting married this spring. . . none of them that I know of have lived in London or New York, they haven't seen half the craziness I've seen. And whenever I tell them about the things I've done, they look wide eyed, like they're clinging on to my every word. So see, those ladies that make you feel immature. . . just remember, it's a two way street. If you open your mouth to them, you might find they're probably a little envious of your freedom.

asabi said...

super adulthood is overated. i'm just a lil girl with a mortgage looking for her "daddy" :) ...btw the dc girlfriends miss you 2

Nina said...

i have been reading your blog since january and have taken it upon myself to go back and read all that i have missed bc of posts just like this one. often i have wanted to comment but didn't--but here goes: I agree with all of the other girls and i too am a girl in comparison to those "super-adult women" and soo proud of it. they are all secretly jealous of girls like us (or so i tell myself). I am also living vicariously through you so make the most of ny. i moved to dc from ny 5 years ago and it feels like an eternity. i am getting restless--so, perhaps there will also be a move in my future! nice commenting with you; talk to u soon!

Chubbs said...

Nina, welcome! Or should I just say "thank you" for your comment, and for reading. You know, I've only been back in NY for a month, and I haven't assimilated yet. I guess DC mellowed me out a bit--but I miss my NY self and I'm looking to take it up a notch. I advise all my girlfriends--you included--to move out of DC after a certain number of years. I don't tell them that they have to move to NY--but I do request that they try a new city--get a different perspective on culture, life, guys, etc. Anyway, I'm starting to bore myself...but please stop by the blog often...I'll be checking for your comments. ;-)