the unwelcome shoulds.

(I’m gonna make this one sorta quick, because I need my coffee.)

I had lunch with a new friend over the weekend. Nice girl, like her a lot, and it helps that we have a common “issue." This friend had patiently been on the receiving end of (some of) her girlfriends questioning her every move regarding her rather new relationship. Their frequent and nosy lectures usually opened with a “You should be doing this” or a “Girl, you shouldn’t be doing that.” My thoughts on this? If she’s happy and the relationship is a healthy one, then the people who are dishing out the shoulds--SHOULD shush it up. Oooh, I’m sassy today, huh? This topic really strikes a nerve in me.

Some people will find a flaw in everything you do, because they’re bored, jealous, judgemental, or simply a product of having someone always find fault with them. I've made myself promise to try my best not to do this to my daughter(s). These "friends" might even mean well, but a true friend knows when to dish advice on your love life, and when keep mum until you ask for advice--or really need it. Besides, it is SO the case, that if you are overly concerned with what’s going on in someone’s else life, then you probably have nothing going on in yours. (Gosh, this is another entry topic altogether, since I'm both guilty and unashamed of scanning Perez Hilton's blog about 10x/day.)

As far as the “issue” goes, talking about it with her really helped. That and the passage of time, which has proved to disprove all the shoulds that were handed out to me several months ago. It's good to finally be in the clear.

Finally, life and love is not about shoulds, it’s about drowning out all the background noise, and doing what feels right for YOU.