Sunday, January 31, 2010

downward facing dog.

I'll be doing a lot more of those from now on--along with some planks, trees, baby cobras, and savasanas. Today, I just closed my eyes, handed over my credit card, and joined an amazing yoga gym where all the women look like they don't need yoga. It's okay, if all goes well, I'll be there soon enough. But, it's about mental well-being, right? Riiiight. No really...I'll explain.

Several months ago, I "dumped" my therapist. I'd learned so much from her, like how to identify patterns--the negative, self-sabotaging kind. But there came a point when i felt the learnings slowing down, and that was my cue to move forward. At times, while I appreciated her insight and understanding, I really needed some instruction, someone to tell me not to jump off that bridge. Like many relationships, this one ran its course, and ended.

Several times since the "break up," I've given thought to what I'd do if I needed to resume therapy sessions again. Looking for a new therapist in New York is a daunting process--there are so damn many, and they've all written books on "loving YOU more," "winning at love," or "getting the love you want." Time was when it seemed all my friends here had not so much. People don't have jobs, so they don't have health insurance, or maybe they're just finding other ways to cope with anxiety, addiction, loss, painful childhoods, and love woes.

It turns out my "other way" is yoga. Nothing new there really...I've always loved to practice, but after trying a week at this new-ish yoga/pilates/full-body-conditioning "ahhh come in, we love you here" studio in my neighborhood, I felt something different. Not sure if it's the lavender-scented mats, the huge multi-purpose rooms (lotsa props), or the super-human instructors, but I've felt this tangible sense of all-consuming happy energy after each class. I think they call it a "high." The type that you want to break in half and share with someone you know could use it. This must be how my-friend-Mer feels about her daily run, or another dear friend feels about ballet. Whatever it is, I feel good all over (channeling Stephanie Mills), and less inclined to run down aisle-hogging shoppers in Trader Joe's with my cart.

Another thing: During yoga, I don't think about my workday, or bills, or even what I'm going to be when I grow up. I'm in the moment...completely. And of course, trying not to focus on what the guy behind me thinks of my bum (which is also, by the way, very excited about the weeks ahead).


rashad said...

I did a few classes of yoga last fall, and then I gave up. Not because I was aroused by the women around me, and not because it was way more chalenging that I imagined. But I was just bored. But this entry, along with everyone telling me I abandoned it too soon, will pull me back in..

Chubbs said...

Rashad--it's not for everyone, and I've been bored in many yoga classes I've taking. For me, sticking with it means attended classes where the instructors motivate and keep you interested. Otherwise it just feels like a bunch of deep breaths and Ommms.

Peas said...

I think one of the great things about yoga is that there are so many kinds. I've been bored in yoga classes before, but I've also been in yoga classes that were incredibly challenging and left me sore for days. I agree, I think it's all about finding a teacher that you like and that keeps you going.

Good to see you back btw!

Jazzbrew said...

First and foremost - welcome back! Trust that you were missed.

Second - I agree regarding yoga 100%. I've been hooked for a few years now and am thinking about taking teacher training to deepen my practice. It's truly a road I never thought I'd go down but here I stand anxious to take that next step.

£ said...

chubbs, you are my kindred spirit! I started doing yoga a little over a month ago, and its been great. You're right about being in the moment completely. Its one of the things I love about class. I also find that it is a good complement for my pilates that i've been doing for around 10 years (with some fits and starts. lol.)

We must do coffee next time im in NY. We will definitely have to talk shop. :)

P.S. i still want to run down the aisle hoggers at trader joe's.

Chubbs said...

Lex, please let me know the next time you're in NY...I'd love to chat over some coffee.

Janelle said...

Welcome back to the blog world, sugar!! Clearly, I need to find a yoga class ASAP - I need to set my mind adrift for at least an hour or so. I'm with Lex though, aisle hoggers are asking to get run over, no matter how "centered" you are. LOL