Thursday, May 28, 2009

calgon, take me away.

that phrase never gets old. There are days I really wish I could say "take this job and shove it," another cliched, but never-gets-old phrase. Today is one of those days. I love my job, and I'm lucky to have a gig that I like, pays me decently, gives me health benefits, and even sometimes fulfills me creatively (I know, I know). But more and more lately, and partly due to the economic crisis, I've considered whether I'm cut out for many more years of nine-to-fiving-it.

Freelancers always seem so relaxed, don't they. And they work from far-off places--like the hammock in their back yard--or some warm, sunny vacation spot. I'm not saying that's the road I'm taking anytime soon--because lord knows the market is too unpredictable right now. I guess, I'm just sayin'. Just venting.

And on top of the stacks of paper on my desk, and the to-do list that covers pages of my notebook and hardly has any cross-outs, there's the looming sadness that my writing is having to take a back seat. And it hurts. a lot. I wrote short prose-y things (I think you call them poems) last weekend. It fulfilled me more than several months of working my ass off and bringing home a decent paycheck. go figure.


Jazzbrew said...

I'm in a similar place. I even took a week long vacation and that just made my 9-5 seem even less appealing. I've been practicing on the horn less because work has sapped every ounce of my energy... I really hate that.

Hopefully we'll either find a way to make it work or the courage to leave.

Good to see you back. I've missed you.

etoilee8 said...

Moi? Relaxed? Are you joking? :) The amount of times I sit in my room thinking "if I don't get work I'm going to go crazy" . . .