Thursday, October 4, 2007

(about hair) i posted this on another blog.

And then I thought, "wow, I really overdid it on this chick's blog." I mean, I posted a blog entry within a blog entry. But on the other hand, sometimes I like when I overdo it, cuz some topics merit wordiness. i.e. this wordy comment I posted about hair and women and preference and men that I'm sure a lot of women can relate to:

"I think hair beauty is in eye of the beholder, and while what you do with your hair should not matter, I know from experience, that to many of our people, it does. And some, not all, black men have a “thing” about hair. Some call it a preference, others call it a bias. To each his own, I guess. I’d like to add that some white, latino, and asian men have a "thing" about hair as well, so I think this preference/bias "thing" crosses over to every culture and race.

I’ve had my hair in every style there is to have: the short “toni braxton” cut, a shaved Sinead O’Connor head, the long and natural, the short and natural, relaxed (straight) and long, highlighted, dyed, a straight bob, and now I have a mid-length natural style that I’m growing out (because I’ve found that relaxers are so damaging and I have less and less time to put into maintaining it). Over the years, I’ve had varying reactions from men. For years, when I rocked the short ‘do, men would say "I love a woman with short hair. It truly shows off your pretty face." Very nice. And I now I get compliments about my natural hair, and guys always want to touch it (lol). I guess I cannot speak much about negative comments I've received from men about my hair, except that a number of men I’ve dated, both younger and older, have actually asked me, when my hair was short, to grow it long because they preferred longer hair. Maybe they were just old-fashioned. Maybe their mommas had long hair, and they like women to look like their mommas. Maybe they just like touching, caressing, or running their fingers through long hair. It is what it is. People have preferences. Some men like long, others like short, (my current boyfriend likes mohawks…lol) some say it doesn’t matter. Some women don’t want to date an overweight man, or prefer a tall man. These are ALL personal preferences.

Now, if men are making negative comments toward you, that could be a reflection of the type of man he is and his overall views about women, and not about who you are or how you wear your hair. If a man is coming from a place of respect, how he relates to you shouldn’t matter if your hair is short, long, natural, or relaxed. And it’s one thing to prefer one hair style/length over another, but JUDGING someone because of their hair, even if it’s a positive judgement (i.e.”My queen, I love your ‘fro”) is still just what it is –- judging a book by it’s cover. A ‘fro does not maketh a queen, and a relaxer does not maketh a ho.

I wear my hair natural because I think, of all the looks I’ve had, it’s the easiest to manage right now, the healthiest, and the most flattering. I’m absolutely the same person I was when I had straight hair with highlights and my short razor cut. How people look at me is there own “thing.” I’d just hope the people who really SEE me, would look past my hair.

P.S. Sorry for the extra long comment…and this is also my favorite Honey blog.

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